Ah the fun that is my job...

It's not unusual for me to encounter some rather...odd...people when I'm at work. Actually, it happens on a regular basis (everyday). I get the morons who shouldn't be allowed to drive, creepy old men, bitchy old women, snobs who expect you to do everything FOR them (I'm sure they have maids at home to wipe their asses even), the people who pay with nothing but small coins, etc. etc. We get them all. Where do I work, you ask? Oh, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you...a gas station. Glamorous, I know...

Actually, I love my job. I really do. It's usually pretty interesting, you meet new people, I get to use a cash register all day, I can study for classes, and I can have friends over to keep me company when I'm not busy. It's a pretty sweet gig. Alright alright, back to the point...

So here are a few stories about these interesting people who grace me with their presence everyday...

# 1 -----> It was early evening yesterday and things were pretty slow. A car pulled up to one of the pumps and a guy who looked to be in his mid 20's stepped out and walked into the store. I asked what I could help him with, and he stood there debating for a long time. He finally asked, "So, how much gas do I have to get in order to get a carwash?" (Keep in mind that this is our policy: Buy 8 or more gallons of gas, get a $1 discount on any wash) I replied, "You have to get at least 8 gallons to get the discount" and I pointed to the wash chart on the counter. He then said, "Well, how much would 8 gallons cost me?" I pulled out my phone, accessed the calculator, and replied, "It'll come out to $19.92." He then stated, "Ok, well here's $20 for the gas, and I want a wash, too." I asked him which one he wanted and pointed to the chart once again. He looked confused when I told him he'd pay the 'dollar off' price on the right of each column. He asked, "Why are you telling me about the prices? And why does the price on the right of each column say 'with gasoline' under it? Why would I want gas ON my car?!" I first wanted to say look ya moron, how the hell does putting gas ON a car make ANY sense and what makes you think you get a FREE wash?!?! But I didn't. Instead, I replied, "It doesn't mean it's gonna wash your car with gas. It means that that's the price you pay with the purchase of 8 gallons of gas." Then he's like, "What?! I have to pay for the carwash?! Screw that! Just give me the gas." And then he proceeds to stomp out of the store like a pissy 5 yr old. I could not believe he was THAT dumb...seriously...

#2 ------> Ok, this one is practically a classic now since I've told it so many times and I've had such good reactions to it...One night, proabably a month or two ago, this man (late 40's I think) came into the gas station at around 9pm. Now, this was no ordinary man...This man was dressed in drag, and horribly I might add. Anyway, I saw him before he ever stepped inside, and the second I did, I had to use all the strength inside of me in order to keep from laughing. So he walked in and, in the best female voice he could muster up, asked, "Honey *wrist flip*, can you please tell me where Forbidden is? You know? The gay club? I'm supposed to perform there tonight and we're a little lost." I'm sure my jaw was down to my knees by this point, but I pulled myself together and told him I had no idea where it was. Which I really didn't know at the time. So he was like, "Aw, darn. It's ok, honey. Thanks anyway!" He then turned to exit, flipped his hair (wig), and strutted out the door. Lemme tell ya, that was NOT a pleasant view. His mini skirt was almost so short his junk hung down lower than it, he was pale as a ghost (and was wearing a black outfit), and he had fat rolls dripping over the spaghetti straps on his top. Aside from it being gross, it was seriously one of the most hilarious things that I've ever experienced at work. As soon as he was out of the store and out of sight, I was literally almost on the floor laughing, then I called and texted a few people to tell them what had happened. One of the best nights ever at work, no doubt...

#3 -----> Ok, this one is for Miss Tiff who didn't like that I left her hangin' when I mentioned the store ghost but didn't elaborate. This is just a list of things that I (and my coworkers, mainly the one who works 3rd shift) have experienced at work...

> One of us is sitting behind the register reading, playing on a phone, etc. and we see a person in our peripheral vision walk from one door to the other in front of us, but no one is in the store...or outside. (the layout of the store: there are 2 entrances, a door on the left and on the right. Each one leads to 6 gas pumps outside. So basically the store is sitting in the middle of 12 pumps, separating them into 6 on each side. The registers are on the front side of the store and they span the entire length of the building, door to door).

> The doors chime, but neither door is opened.

> I (and maybe the others, too) hear people talking momentarily, but no one is in the store OR outside. And the radio is off.

> One of us is sitting behind the counter doing whatever and we see a clear, distinct face in the glass to the left or right, but when we look over, no one is there. And when we look to see if anyone is outside, there's no one.

> I've been in the main cooler stocking the beer, which is at the opposite end of the door, and I hear it slam shut even though it's already shut. When I walk over and look out, my coworker is behind the counter all the way across the store.

Those are the only things I can recall at this very moment, but I know I'm forgetting some...Oh well. When I remember, I'll let you all know.

I hope today's blog was sufficiently entertaining. Tune in tomorrow for more great stories! Til then, adios amigos!